The term ‘stranger danger’ came into existence to help keep our children safe by making them extra alert to having any interaction with an adult whom they didn’t know. But that was before we found ourselves in the digital age. Instead of playing outside with friends from next door, whose families we’ve known for years, kids now play inside and online – connecting, texting and chatting digitally with friends in a virtual playground as it were.
So what to do now, in this new world of online encounters in which we can’t even depend on the physical appearance and signals that we used to rely on to try to judge whether a person was trustworthy or not?
As someone who operates a business specialising in helping other businesses develop their digital marketing strategies, I get to talk to many people about what’s going on in the online world, which is great. However, as a parent my hair literally stands on end at some of the things I hear happening out there – and it worries me. Because how do we keep our children safe from the predators in this digital environment in which invisible strangers are potentially just a click away from becoming our child’s online ‘friend’?
The digital stranger danger
The digital world is everywhere – in our homes, in our kids’ schools – so nowhere are they immune from the danger anymore. In fact, the danger could even be greatest precisely where our children go to be safe!
Take school, for example. Pretty much everyone at school these days has a smartphone, and everyone is on one or other or more social networks. School mates tend to join one another’s social networks so they can enjoy non-stop chat or see who’s doing what and where. (By the way, did you know that some social media apps even reveal their users’ exact locations?) And while many such relationships are above board and fine, others take a whole different direction.
Picture these 2 scenarios for example:
Unfortunately, the scenarios described above are neither rare nor fictitious. The fake profiles that approach kids on social media or elsewhere online via someone they think they know but who is actually a front for something way more sinister are happening right now in communities all around the world.
Also, read an 11-year old’s simple online safety tips that your kid should also know: https://netbranding.co.nz/blog/best-cyber-safety-tips/
Online stranger danger and your child
Owing to the very pervasive nature of the now ever-present online world, this sort of thing is definitely happening in our communities here in New Zealand, including in our schools – in fact it could even be happening in your child’s school.
Ironically, giving our kids a mobile phone is one of the ways we’ve come up with to help keep them safe – so they can contact us at all times. But that smartphone can also be the very portal for the digital predator to get to our children. Of course, taking away the phone is not the solution because, unfortunately, where there are children, there will always be predators. And anywhere that kids spend time online is also the place the predators will go too. So, what to do about the problem?
What you can do as a parent to protect your child
As parents, we need to be doubly vigilant and engaged in guarding the digital doorways to our children. One way to start is by taking stock of where and how your child can get online. Give it a go – you’ll find that the list you come up with is a sobering one.
Open an account on any online community where our children play these days and you’ll see nothing but good-looking, clean-cut profile pictures with everyone saying all the right things. How would you tell the tricky profile from the rest? How can a child tell?
Since everyone looks normal and nice online in this digital age we need to teach our children to identify the ‘stranger danger’ not by what they look like, but by what they say.
The very nature of social media tends to make all of us, adults and children alike, share all sorts of relatively minor details about us with others. The online predator trawls these details to pick up on clues in them and use them to their advantage. The digital stranger danger tries to trick kids into becoming their friends, and tricky people ask a lot of questions – way too many questions, in fact. Even nice-enough sounding questions like, “I see you also enjoy swimming. Where do you usually go to swim?” can get the predatory ball rolling.
Teaching your child to deal with the problem is vital
Trust is the key to developing any relationship online, which the digital predators know very well. So their grooming techniques focus on slowly breaking down the boundaries until they reach the point where their tricky questions have netted them enough information to help them build up a ‘friendship’ with the child to enable them to close their trap.
So, it’s vital that parents speak to their children about staying safe online.
Have you talked to your children about the online stranger danger – about people who ask too many tricky questions? Have you given them examples of tricky questions? If your child is on social media, are they ready to deal with innocent looking but potentially tricky questions? Questions like “What’s your school like? Where is it? or What’s your room like? What do you like to do there?
5 steps to deal with the digital stranger danger
There are a number of ways to ensure your children stay as safe as possible online – here are 5 of the most important steps you can take:
3 steps to take if your encounter online stranger danger.
Knowing that your child has been targeted by a predator can be earth-shattering. However, if your child has been targeted and they’ve trusted you enough to be able to tell you of something they’ve been tricked into doing without fearing a backlash from you, then it’s very important you treat them lovingly. Keep your wits about you and take quick action by following these 3 steps.
